What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger
by xanimelover121x
Summary: There was a reason that Tyr didn't like asking for help. Asking Colonnello to teach Squalo some respect: horrible idea.


**A fic written for Great Question's Crack Challenge Pairing Contest. ^^**

**Pairing: Very, very light 66S. Or S66. However you choose to look at it. Honestly though, it's really more of a friendship thing. -.-**

**Prompt: Duct Tape (you have no idea how much fun I had with this one, even if it was a bitch to think up)**

**Quote: "Stop it, both of you! You're making this place unliveable!" **

**Enjoy!**

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What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

"Voiii, Cavallone!"

"Eep!" the blond teenager in question jumped, making a decidedly unmanly sound that he would later deny ever came out of his mouth. He turned to face his...well, actually, he didn't quite know what to call Squalo. They weren't really friends (or at least the other didn't consider them to be), and since Squalo had quit school to join the Varia, they weren't really classmates anymore either. So...acquaintances? Sure, that'd work. Regardless, the silver-haired boy had still called out to him, Dino Cavallone, in the hallway of the Vongola headquarters, the place that Reborn had dragged him to today because of his meeting with the ninth. Stupid, hypocritical, selfish baby...!

"Bastard, listen to me when I talk!"

Dino jumped again, yet again jolted out of his thoughts by the others always loud voice. He made a sheepish face, bringing up a hand to scratch the back of his head. "Sorry about that," he apologized. "What were you saying?"

Squalo shot him a dark glare, but repeated it anyways, eyes brightening with excitement as he talked. "I fought this swordsman the other day. He was weak as hell, but there was this one cool trick he used that I wanted to learn. So I've been practicing, and I think I've got it down, but I need something to practice on."

The future Cavallone boss didn't like where this was going. "A-and?" the boy stammered weakly. "What about it?"

The swordsman gave him a vicious smile that would have even made his namesake, the shark, quake with fear.

"Stand still for a second, will you?"

Of course..._not_! Dino didn't have a death wish (though some may have doubted that just by watching his training with Reborn), so of course he was off almost as soon as the words left his acquaintance's mouth. His run for his life was cut off prematurely when he somehow managed to trip on his own feet in the middle of the bare marble floor, a common but not at all welcome occurrence. The boy could _feel_ the deadly aura radiating off the slightly larger teenager behind him.

"This works too," Squalo mused, drawing the sword at his hip. The blade glinted wickedly with the sunlight streaming through a nearby window, and he had just raised it above his head menacingly, preparing to strike, when...

"Squalo!" a deep voice called from a few yards away, unfamiliar to the blond but not to his companion if the others irritated expression was anything to go by. "What have I said about using other people to practice on? Especially in the middle of the building! If you're planning on killing someone, at least have the courtesy to take them outside first so you don't get anything dirty with their blood, stupid boy!"

"Voi, shut up, fucking geezer!" the boy yelled right back. "I _thought_ he was going to make it outside before tripping over his own damn feet. The fucking door's not that far away! Besides, practicing on dummies isn't the same! You should know that better than anyone, Tyr!"

Dino blanched, both at the subject of the conversation and the way Squalo was talking to the _boss _of the_ Varia_. Did he even know the definition of respect? ...No, he probably didn't. However, if the man's weary sigh was anything to go by, he was used to the insolence.

"Cavallone child." He started at the mention of his name, turning to face Tyr. "You may leave. Reborn is waiting outside." The boy hung his head, reluctantly pushing himself to his feet.

"Thanks," he mumbled, heading towards where he knew the door would be. As an afterthought, Dino turned back to Squalo with a small smile. "See you some other time then."

"Fuck off!"

The blond laughed at the others response, but resumed his trek to find his small tutor as fast as possible, lest Reborn get angry. Now _that_ would be ten times scarier than anything Squalo could dish out.

The silver-haired boy watched him go with a sulk, angry at being cheated out of a chance to test out his new move. The rustle of cloth off to his left told him that Tyr was walking away, and he turned to yell at the man.

"Follow me," Tyr interrupted as if he'd known Squalo was about to say something, which, in retrospect, he probably did. After a moment's silent debate, the teen heaved a loud sigh before reluctantly complying. He wasn't strong enough to beat the other just yet, and until that day came, he'd have to follow his boss' orders. Within reason, of course. And unfortunately, 'Follow me,' just barely fit into that category.

So that was how he found himself, ten minutes later, seated in the lobby with no clue as to why. All his attempts at asking had been stopped by either a glare from Tyr, or, when that didn't work, the others simple refusal to talk. He was about to try again when a loud squawk from outside drew his attention to the window just above the door. His eyes widened at what he saw. It was some sort of eagle holding a...baby?

"The hell is that about?" Squalo muttered quietly, more to himself that his companion.

"That would be your tutor for the day," Tyr answered anyways, at last breaking his silence. The younger's look of utter horror was interrupted by the loud shattering of the window. His head whipped around in time to see a small green blur flying at him, and the teenager had just enough time to jump to the other side of the couch he was sitting on to avoid being hit.

"_Tutor_?" he echoed the earlier statement, incredulous gaze darting back and forth between the Varia boss and the infant sitting up on the couch, seemingly not affected by the impact at all. His blond hair was spiked up and held at bay by a large green headband that matched his jacket and pants. A large blue pacifier hung from around his neck, the same color as his large eyes. "Oh fuck no, I don't need a fucking tutor!" the swordsman continued angrily, the initial shock giving away to indignant fury. Who did that old man think he was!

"What you think doesn't matter to me. You're his responsibility for the day, not mine. Thank goodness." The man turned to leave, tossing over his shoulder, "Have fun," before disappearing from sight.

"He'll be dead by the end of the day!" the younger called after him, just barely quelling the urge to chase after his superior and continue the argument. By this time, Tyr was already halfway down the hall, so Squalo didn't catch his small smirk.

"I highly doubt that, brat," he chuckled to himself, pushing open the door to his office. "It's about time you learned a little humility and respect, and who better to teach you than one of the famous Arcobaleno?"

~X~

Colonnello surveyed his temporary charge critically, taking in the dark glare and sword at his waist without even batting an eye. All Tyr had said when he'd called was that he wanted the baby to teach some teenager under the man's guidance a little lesson in respecting others. It had sounded simple enough over the phone, but he had still wondered who it was was that even the Varia's leader couldn't control. Sure, Tyr wasn't exactly ruthless in his teachings, but he wasn't easygoing either. It was exceedingly rare for him to ask for help on _anything_, so this request had understandably come as a bit of a shock. In fact, it was more out of curiosity than anything else that Colonnello even accepted the job.

His assigned task seemed a bit harder once he'd gotten a good look at the person in question. Squalo, if he remembered the others name right from his conversation with Tyr, fit the image of a rebellious mafia teenager to perfection, from the disgusted scowl upon his pale face to the way he stubbornly refused to wear the assigned Varia uniform. His spiked silver hair looked like it had been bleached, but there was always the (very slight) possibility that it was actually natural. The boy's air was one of confidence, and he wore the sword as his waist with the ease of someone who knew what they were doing.

A hot-shot, then? One with a mouth on him too, if the conversation he'd just heard was anything to go by. Well, Colonnello knew how to deal with people like him.

"Brat, drop and give me a hundred push-ups, kora!"

"What? Fuck no!" Squalo yelled. He was _not_ about to go through boot camp with some stupid brat who'd been hired by his boss. The boy went for his sword, intending to make good on his threat to Tyr, but stopped when he saw the baby point the rifle on his back at him. He must not have noticed it earlier, though how he'd missed something that was twice the others size was a mystery to him. "Kids shouldn't be playing with such dangerous toys," the swordsman snarled. "Why don't you go find a rattle somewhere and leave me the hell alo-"

"Maximum Burst!" Colonnello shouted, cutting his student for the day off. A beam of bright blue energy shot from the rifle, heading straight for Squalo. The shocked teenager jumped to the side just in time to avoid the blast, but a few pieces of his silver hair couldn't quite escape it. They disintegrated the second the energy touched them, leaving behind the smell of burned hair and nothing else. The beam continued right on into the wall, blowing a giant, smoking hole in it. The smell of charred furniture came from the room behind, not that either of the lobby's occupants cared.

If the baby had expected Squalo to just give up and turn docile after the display, he would have been dead wrong. In fact, instead of being intimidated by it, the boy was feeling a mix of anger at being hit and anticipation at the possibility of a good fight.

"Voiii! What was that just now!" he cried, drawing his sword. A crazy grin was plastered on his pale face, showing off his overly sharp canines.

"What's it to you, kora!" Colonnello's answering shout was just as loud, the click of his gun being reloaded just as menacing as the sound of the boy's sword being drawn. He leveled the rifle at Squalo's head, conveniently forgetting that he was supposed to be teaching the kid, not trying to kill him. Oh well. What was that saying? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger? "One hundred push-ups, now, kora!"

"Make me, damn brat!" The silver-haired boy shot forward, blade raised and aimed at the infant's chest. Colonnello fired, and all hell broke loose.

~X~

It was around the tenth explosion that Tyr finally decided he'd had enough. He had been _trying_ to have a business meeting with the famous doctor, Trident Shamal, to offer the man a place in the Varia, but the constant shouting, collisions of metal on metal, and of course, the ever-present explosions were making the difficult task that much harder. However, he'd tried to ignore them and continue on. That it, until one of the stray beams of energy blew a hole in his office wall. If he'd been a little less irritated, he probably would have commended Shamal on not even flinching at it. At the moment, though, he was too busy planning the two younger males' deaths as he marched to the door and yanked it open.

The mansion was a mess. The walls were pockmarked with scorch marks, slashes from Squalo's sword, and here and there, a giant hole caused by one of Colonnello's shots. The two in question were currently facing off on the stairs above the lobby, having returned to around their original position after chasing each other through the house.

"And people wonder why I don't usually ask for help," the man muttered to himself angrily.

A low whistle from behind caught his attention, and he turned back to face the brunet who had followed him to the door. "It looks like a war zone in here," Shamal observed lazily, gaze sliding to the pair who were the cause of it all. "And here I thought the rain was supposed to be tranquil."

"You and me both," Tyr growled, raising his voice for his next words. "That is_ enough_! Stop it, both of you! You're making this place unliveable!"

A vein pulsed on his head when neither showed any signs of stopping. He was about to stomp his way up to where they were to bash their heads together when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. His companion handed him a roll of duct tape with a lazy smile before turning away.

"I think I'll come back some other time," the brunet called over his shoulder, hopping through a hole in the wall instead of opening the door next to it. "You seem kind of busy today."

For a moment, the man just stared at the tape in his hand. Then, an evil smile began to make its way across his face. He turned to where the fighting pair were standing. Both had stopped for the moment, shivers running up their spines at the murderous aura radiating off the Varia boss. Slowly, they turned to face him, the slow sound of his approaching footsteps only made more menacing by the complete silence that surrounded the trio.

~X~

"Because of you two's stupidity, I may have just lost the chance to recruit a very promising young man to the Varia," Tyr lectured, pacing back in forth in front of the two. Both Colonnello's rifle and Squalo's sword were sitting, confiscated, in the far corner. As for the two boys...they were taped back to back by a particularly long, thick piece of duct tape. Both of their mouths were also covered by the same material, rendering speech impossible. It was actually quite a comical sight. Due to Colonnello's height, he was left dangling a foot or so off the ground while his angry companion sat, also unable to escape. The two may have been great fighters, but an angry Tyr was worse than either.

The man finally halted in his pacing, meeting their eyes one by one.

"Do either of you have anything to say for yourselves?" Muffled words from both, but since they were unintelligible through the tape, he could choose to believe he didn't hear them. The oldest nodded. "Do you understand that what you did was wrong?" They nodded reluctantly. "Good. Now I realize that this is partially my fault for asking for your help in the first place, Colonnello, so today I will let you two go with only a warning: don't let this happen again, or I will personally punish both of you. Harshly."

He left the nature of the punishment to their imaginations, sure that what they would think up would be much worse than anything he could tell them now. The man smirked, pleased with himself at the way their faces paled before they nodded in agreement to the terms.

"Good," Tyr said, reaching forward and roughly pulling the silver material of their mouths. Both cried out in protest at the harsh treatment, but were silenced by his glare. Grabbing Squalo's sword, he almost laughed at their scared faces when he chopped down on the tape to release them. This was surprisingly fun, but alas, all good things had to come to an end. He had work to do, and the sun was setting, signaling the end of Colonnello's time at the Vongola mansion.

In the end, he had sort of gotten what he'd wanted. He'd instilled fear of himself in Squalo, so maybe the boy would finally think twice about so openly disrespecting him.

...Probably not, but hey, a man could dream.

"Behave," he ordered, walking back to his office. First thing on his to-do list: call some maintenance people to clean up their mess. Tyr sighed. A superior's job never ended.

Meanwhile, back in the lobby, the two boys had finally deemed it safe to retrieve their weapons. Squalo picked up his sword, then grabbed the rifle and threw it at the baby next to the window without looking. Colonnello caught it deftly, speaking up with a smirk "So, did you learn any valuable lessons today, kora?"

"Shut up," the silver-haired teen growled, but he relented and answered anyway. "I learned that the fucking old man is insane."

"Did I do my job right, then?" the infant snickered, earning himself a glare. The others eyes quickly widened, however, at what he saw.

The light from the setting sun was shining through the window, bathing Colonnello in it's orange glow. With the odd lighting, the swordsman could almost make out a figure standing there. His straight blond hair framed his face nicely, kept in place by a dark green bandana. The young man's outfit was similar to the baby he was being projected above, a green shirt and pants, but there was no pacifier hanging around his neck. He was smirking, keen blue eyes glimmering in the light. Then, Squalo blinked, and the image was gone. Only Colonnello remained behind, staring at the boy questioningly.

"Something wrong, kora?" the blond asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"N-no," Squalo stammered without any of his ordinary loud arrogance, a very unusual occurrence. He shook his head to clear the vision from this mind. "I just thought... The sun was playing tricks on my eyes!" He was embarrassed now, and refused to meet the gaze of the baby before him. "I saw this...this older you, I think! Like...I don't know! Maybe you'll look like that when you're twenty or something!"

Too busy willing the ground to open up and swallow him, the teenager missed the shadow that flitted across Colonnello's once-carefree face. It was gone only seconds later though, replaced by a slightly forced smile.

"Cut back on the drugs, will you? You're too young to be seeing stuff that isn't there, kora."

Squalo growled low in his throat, looking up to glare at his smug companion. "Shut it, bastard. You make it sound like _I'm_ the odd one here."

"Well if the shoe fits, kora!" Colonnello shot back, glad to be back in familiar territory. Arguing he could handle. Curious teenagers...not so much. When a response didn't come from the other male, he shrugged and began searching for his pet eagle, sure it would be hanging around somewhere nearby. As expected, it was perched on top of a nearby tree, waiting patiently for its master to finish up. The baby whistled a few notes to call it over.

"Are you leaving?"

He didn't turn when the question was posed, only nodded and said, "I've got other stuff to be doing. Something about a meeting of all the major families to build an amusement park or something."

"You're joking, right?"

"Wish I was."

Squalo muttered something that sounded a lot like, "Stupid geezers don't know how to spend their fucking money," before turning for the door.

"No goodbye, kora?" the smaller smirked, unable to resist one last jibe. He heard the other growl and mutter something, most likely a few curses. Then, the teenager did something completely unexpected. He spoke, and this time without any underlying sarcasm or loud swear words.

"Just...stay alive." Squalo floundered for an excuse to explain his sudden care to the incredulous baby. "I mean, I'm gonna kill that old geezer someday soon, and then I want a rematch. I'll beat you for sure, got that?"

"In your dreams, kora," Colnonello countered just as his bird latched onto his small shoulders, carrying him away to the next self-assigned mission. He smiled slightly at the indignant expression he'd caught on the others face before being swept away. They were far from done with each other, that much was clear.

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**I don't like the ending. It felt rushed. -.- I think the timing of this may be a bit messed up, but Squalo's life was never put in a clear chronological order (or not one that I could understand, at least), so I might just be making up some things in here about Dino and stuff. I'm pretty sure that Colonnello was already an Arcobaleno when Squalo was a teenager, but if not... well, we can just call this AU then. :p Also, since so little is known about Tyr, I kind of just made up a role and personality for him. Please review and tell me what you thought. ^^**


End file.
